“Suicide Is Not An Option” LLA Meets The Emotions Doctor, “Oyinkansola Alabi”- Founder, The Emotions City

Oyinkansola Alabi popularly referred to as “The Emotions Doctor” is the Lead Researcher, Intellectual Property Owner, Founder and Lead Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY- Consulting Firm that works with leaders of various arms of Government and NGO’s as well as Business and Institution leaders at all levels, using original, home grown research and principle based methodologies to achieve emotional well being.

As one of Nigeria’s clearest and sought after high impact trainer. She has trained tens of thousands of executives who desired to achieve a high level of Emotional Intelligence and for close to a decade, Oyinkansola has helped hopeless, depressed, suicidal souls, discerning Individuals and executives across thirty states in Nigeria and in six different countries, get clarity, increase productivity and profitability. Today, on our impact and community series, we sit with this trailblazer and as well as give clarity on suicide, she shares startling insights on social media and why its intake has to be regulated. Enjoy!

Hello, it’s such an honor to have you on Leading Ladies Africa. Can you, in your own words describe Oyinkansola Alabi?

My name is Oyinkansola Alabi popularly referred to as the Emotions Doctor. I am the Lead Researcher, Intellectual Property Owner and Lead Facilitator of EMOTIONS CITY.I am the voice of your unconscious calling you to embrace your greatness. A soul who is passionately consumed by the vision to help adults take responsibility for their mental health and emotional stability.

I desire to help as many people as possible in every state, every country, whatever gender, marital status, sexuality, religion, move from a place of emotional instability to a place of emotional stability, a state of unhappiness to a state of happiness.

I am that soul who craves to help you increase your productivity, happiness and help live a life of fulfillment. I want you to know that we are not on earth to work, pay bills and die, you are here to enjoy your life.

You run two leading Emotional Intelligence Academies, how did you get here? Can you tell us about them?

My desire to help people move from a state of pain into a state of deep peace,  happiness and fulfilment ignited my desire to launch Emotions City. We actually launched the Youthmax Academy earlier which is arguably the first Emotional Intelligence Academy for Millennials in Africa. Then we started receiving training requests from Professionals and corporate organisations who had been informed of our unparalleled value and results.

The Emotions City is now the group for all our companies. The essence of Emotions City is to help people live the best version of their life. We desire to help people reduce their pain, We desire to give life where death looms.

We desire to reduce the number of hopeless, helpless, depressed and suicidal souls in Nigeria. We are also the only mental health facility in Nigeria who offers round the clock coaching and therapy service. While others close for the day, our midnight listeners are willing to listen and resolve emotional distractions.

Your interest in emotional wellbeing is very interesting and commendable. Would you say a combination of personal experiences and exposure fanned your interest for this path? Why and how did you venture into this field?

In retrospect, I think that my childhood prepared me for what I’m doing now because 2 months before I was born my father had stroke and that life altering experience introduced me and my family into a flavor of poverty and scarcity.

I grew up faster than my peers because I had learned how to take responsibility for my existence. I also promised myself that I was going to be the best version of what God created me to be despite my financially epileptic background. I must also admit that one clear value my parents transmitted to me was the yearning for knowledge.

I remember my father taught me how to read by giving me a book to read every week and when I was done reading he gave me a gift. I initially read because I wanted a gift but I later read to a point where I outgrew the gift. I knew I was consuming knowledge for my own good.

Given that the African community is one that would rather hide than embrace being emotionally vulnerable, how have you been able to effectively get word out there on the need for good emotional health?

I have been able to get word out through consistency, our scientifically proven results, social media, emotional intelligence training and certification and finally through referrals.

Do the stories you hear while coaching affect you sometimes? What has been your greatest challenge so far in the course of your journey and how have you handled it?

I am expected to practice emotional immunity and I practice it as much as I can. 

You are a Trained Human Resource Executive, Certified Life Coach, Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapist, Licensed Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, an MSc candidate of applied psychology and coaching psychology, only female six seconds network leader in Nigeria? Can you talk us through on how you accomplished all these?

I am a reputable trainer and coach, so I must ensure that I am at least 1% better than I was yesterday. I must know more than I did yesterday. I just practice more than I did yesterday. 

I am my only competitor.

How have you been able to measure your impact over the years and which of your accomplishments are you most proud of?

The results of my impact are in the quality of souls that I have been able to raise. My greatest reward is the evidence of changed lives. I am proud of all our inventions. 

Some people think Mentorship makes the journey a whole lot easier, others don’t, what does mentorship mean to you, can you share briefly, some women you consider mentors?

Real mentors shorten the journey to success and help you deepen the quality of your content. My mentors are Oprah, Serena Williams, Anthony Robbins, Maya Angelou, Bimbo Odukoya and Ibukun Awosika. 

Let’s talk about your personal life for a bit. You are an author, life-coach, trainer, adviser, and pastor. How have you been able to blend it all?

I doubt the concept of work-life balance exist. I think what exists in reality is work -life integration. I integrate my life by living and existing one day at a time. I deliberately refuse to engage in emotional labour where I worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself, my duty is to prepare and plan.

So my responsibility as a Coach, Pastor and Public speaker are going well. I am not perfect but I am getting better at it daily.

Do you have a life philosophy, personal mantra perhaps that keeps you steady when the going gets tough?

When the going gets tough, I reach out to mentors, friends and family members. I must admit that I am blessed with beautiful relationships that service my existence.

How has faith influenced what you do over the years?

My Faith is my life, my source, my strength, my anchor. I am who I am because of who I serve and live for.

So what are your projections and plans with the Academies currently & for the next 5 years?

In the next five years, we will have moved from being just service providers into products manufacturers and global thought leaders.

In the course of your journey, what would you say is the greatest challenge of people facing emotional vulnerability and can you share ways with which they can go about dealing with this challenge?

The word is becoming more complex. Culture is changing. Economy is worsening. The rules of parenting, relationships and success are being redefined.

Social media is brewing envy and jealousy. These complex engagements are ultimately climaxing some emotionally unstable adults into a state of unhappiness, hopelessness, helplessness, self-esteem issues, inferiority complex etc.

Once all of these states set in and your internal affairs are more dis empowering than empowering. You will question your existence. Once you feel you are not good enough, nobody cares about you, the world will be better without you.

Suicide becomes attractive. Suicide is however not an option. There are at least five other options you can embrace.

A word of advice for women going through emotional instability in whatever form?

A woman’s strongest point is her soul, her energy, her voice, her authenticity. An attack on her soul, is an attack on her essence.

My advice to women who are going through emotional instability will be to reach and guide your soul judiciously as that is your strongest point. Surround yourself with beautiful relationships that can help pull you up and more importantly, get help. Your mental health is important for a happy life.

The LLA Grassroot Series is a monthly interview series that highlights the achievements and journey of African females who have demonstrated exemplary initiative at the grassroots level.

The vision is to showcase the Leading Ladies who are transforming Africa and the African narrative through impact at the community level.

It is an off-shoot of Leading Ladies Africa, a non-profit that promotes leadership, inclusion and diversity for women of African descent.

If you know any kick-ass women of African Descent doing phenomenal things at the grassroots level, email lead@leadingladiesafrica.org, and she could possibly be featured.

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